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Fear to say " not " heart knot
From;    Author:Stand originally


2, depend on with detached angst. Everybody has dependence or depend on complex, the boy or girl friend that just counts, property and level are different just. The person's dependence and detached angst height are relevant, namely you are excessive to someone something depend on, inevitable companion has fear losing him (it) angst. Fear to say “ not the heart of ” writtens guarantee, it is the person's dependence and detached angst. This angst points to Mu Ying's detached primitive angst not only, after still showing the person enters socialization, be opposite imitated person depend on with detached angst.

In growing because of the consciousness in a person, it is to need main concern character to give very much of the mental attention of other case respect and affirmation. If he was not obtained enough approbate, can bury in his heart those who fall to be ignored is self-abased, meeting generation seeks attention longing. The “ of some of child moves disease ” more is a kind of expression that seeks you to pay close attention to me, the original idea that he pays close attention to a desire is “ you should take me seriously, admit I am as good as other child! ” . Person as a child very those who count main concern person is complimentary, depend on others to “ I, I am important the view of ” , also liking relation person always is pair of crabbily your “ with respect to you provoking irritated! ”“ you always are not obedient! ”“ custom is nodded! The attention of ” . The drill that this is pedagogue care child dominates action. Of adolescent child capricious, obstinate, go against wait instead, it is to long for a kind of resentment that is failed by understanding and self-identity, its are subconscious it is the need that depends on main concern character to approbate.

So, fear to say “ in reality not the psychological essence of ” , it is to fear to deny and be denied, it is a kind of heart is depended on other is agreed with and fear the detached angst that other does not admit him, it is to use “ to grant whatever is requested of ” please behavior and implementation suffers take seriously, the psychological need that is admitted, at the same time also can evasive the angst that is denied.

3, by refus scar. Be afraid of say “ not the person of ” , was experienced in the past in him and in human environment, constant presence “ must not your ” is too much. “ must not below your ” atmosphere, the person's thinking and thought are restricted, have the play of autonomy and creativity hard, doing virtually of the person is being controlled by a kind of force, always be heard and suffer “ you cannot you do not want …”“ …”“ you if not … is met of …” how-to, brain was accommodated with “ not the content related ” , to achieve “ not the requirement of ” and avoid infringe “ not the penalty of ” , pair of “ can be formed gradually in the individual's individual character not the height of ” is sensitive, he must take power of as a matter of expediency, be detested again and be hostile to authoritative “ must not your ” , there is “ in his heart also is not, not be a variety of angst that also are not ” . This is a person in culture no-no influence falls, those who fear to be rejected is primitive and traumatic.
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