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Fear to say " not " heart knot
From;    Author:Stand originally

“ not ” , indicative not have or do not have. “ must not the educational mode of your …” , be pair of people is essential and negative, it is depressive ego, with armed ” of other thought “ my growing environment. Won't refuse, indicative surmount refuse go against instead, it is one kind is opposite “ not the retrorse and tender attack of ” . Because “ does not allow what ” brings a person to be like by the depression of captivity and anguish, sex of his meeting instinct feels disgusted by refus, natural also meeting rejects him to use refuse. Be in like a lot of people in one's childhood, sufferred all kinds of the anguish that him parents beats and scold, abhor in the heart of parents beat and scold, pledge secretly like will be being beaten and scold to oneself children anything but henceforth.

Won't repudiator, although want to reject a person very much, but subconscious be hostile to refuse. Because reject to mix,be being rejected to be opposite is a kind of pain him, he can is far from not self-consciously refuse. “ flattery ” is to be far from by the best compensation of refus pain.

Won't repudiator, is what care most how ability rejects others freelyingly? We can put forward such train of thought:

1, learn to reject oneself above all. This faces paradox of a psychology, namely individual reject ” to be hostile to already to “ yearning contradictory psychology. The person puts contradiction to something bosom, it is to put smooth issue hard. If say the result that “ rejects others ” is to offend a person certainly, cannot let your “ reject ” and the desire be satisfactory to both sides that did not offend a person, just think thinks, can you make a choice? Can you choose to which desire realize again? If want to reject others, mean accept “ to displease person ” . Of course, this is as difficult as cannot reject others! This is “ the psychological paradox of the person of ” of shabby-genteel have a hell of life. Theoretic, can accomplish freely ground to reject others, also be equal to can accept offend a person or not be afraid of malefactor, but still have a sequential problem, above all otherwise is afraid of malefactor, ability accomplishs freely ground to reject others. Because of the backside that cannot refuse, if offend a person,exist and isolate aloof (the relation is lost) be fear of.

How is ability afraid of offend a person? Face analysis looked once upon a time, need handles his complex, learn the good opinion that abandons depending on others namely, overcome others not to admit my detached angst probably. This is OK from “ you reject him ” to make:

What —— rejects your him demand is strict. If your existence must sleep time keeping, trimly, thoroughly, early,rise early of and so on strict;

—— rejects you to be paid attention to to his. If you are put when socialization, must pay attention to dress decent, conversation gentle, bearing is abasement; Before working, pay attention to and so on of look before you leap;
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