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Fear to say " not " heart knot
From;    Author:Stand originally

—— rejects your certain demand to oneself. Be like: Would rather I owe others cannot others owes me (the society owes the other side equally) ; The dissatisfaction that bears pair of others (outside learning a mood, release, the depressed and discontented sense with direct or indirect him real expression) ; Please others (decrease, stop to praise mediumly in communication word) ; Work should it is active, good to stay to the person impressional and so on.

2, society allows him. Be afraid of say “ not the person of ” , was to accept others and him “ must not the person with your too much ” . If want to be able to freely the ground says “ not ” , might as well abandon a lot of “ to oneself first must not ” , next to oneself many somes of “ allows ” even “ indulges ” :

Allow or indulge him “ bad ” , conversation is for instance a bit coarser, allow oneself to carry crosscurrent more, can be taught a lesson or censure others, can let the chaos in the home a bit, allow oneself now and then break an appointment, break a contact, allow him be angry, draw well, before working OK and laggard with passivity a bit, allow him “ to be first oneself it is person ” after that, allow oneself to strike back others ……

3, master say “ not the skill of ” . For instance can politely refuses: “ if if I have time, … is met …” ; OK and moderate land refuses: “ feels embarrassed, be no good this breathe out …” ; Refuse ably: “ I also is anxious worn …”“ do I have a try ×× friend whether help you? ” ; Can refuse forthrightly: “ is no good, I do not have time ” to wait a moment.

4, self-identity won't refuse. If be hard to refuse or won't be rejected, can accept “ to please ” behavior, won't refuse also be him self-identity namely.

Whats are met a person is impossible, always have him won't respect. Those who accept oneself won't, do not importune oneself to do won't, this makes do not embarrass oneself or let off oneself. Besides does not reject others to also have its profit, the interview before be like arrives, can satisfy you subconscious psychology need, avoid you to be afraid of be denied to wait for angst, still can change an others to be appreciated to yours, when you dare to appeal to others, those people that had been helped by you, won't reject you likely. On the world after all good person is much, know the person that be thankful not little also ah.

Otherwise suffers by the worry with sensitive refus, freely ground refuses and can raise a requirement, the most essential make from improvement and education individual character even. By refus sensitive, it is one individual lack concept of autonomy, self is weak, self-abased the existence that waits for personality factor, when just making the person needs to strike back the gender is responded to in human association, appear the nervous reaction that the gas that do not have a bottom does not have self-confidence. Accordingly, practice opens sexual individual character, just mean liberate oneself, gain human freedom.
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